When I was younger, I would always read the Dear Abby posts at my grandma’s house. Not only did these articles feed my curiosity about other people’s lives, but I enjoyed finding out what she would advise her readers. Today, I try not to stick my nose in where it isn’t wanted, but sometimes it’s fun to understand how other people see things and what they think the problem or solution may be.

That brings me to today’s post. I went searching on Reddit for member questions that I could answer. Who knows, maybe a couple of my readers are having the same dilemma? I chose this question because I felt like the answer will be very different from person to person depending on your past experiences. Here we go!

Q: I( F 25) am uncomfortable about my Bf ( M 26 ) meeting his ex girlfriend to catchup. How do I handle this situation? I’m not sure what about this making me uncomfortable but I just don’t understand what is the need for them to catchup since they are just friends now. She’s in town to to attend a friends wedding which I will be attending too with my boyfriend. She’s also been texting him asking if he’s going to attend the wedding, etc. I feel like I’m being petty because I do trust my boyfriend and I know he won’t do anything but at the same time it makes me quite upset. They dated when they were 17-18 years old. I’ve been with my boyfriend for about 1.5 years now and me met around 4 years back. I think it’s important to add they she kept in touch even after the breakup, so he says they are sort of friends.

A: The first thing that comes to my mind when I hear about situations like these is, if they’re such great friends, why haven’t you met her yet? Personally, I don’t think being friends after dating is manageable, but I know people who have made it work for them. Regardless of their history, if you are uncomfortable with him meeting up with another woman without you, you should tell him! Relationships should be built on trust. You don’t know this woman, so how can you trust that she doesn’t have ulterior motives? I think your boyfriend should offer for you to come with if they still want to catch up so you can see the dynamic for yourself. It’s a red flag if he refuses to entertain the idea. Good luck!

Have you ever been in this situation? How did you handle it? Let me know in the comments.

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