Recently, I have been finding it difficult to cope with the absence of an old friend whom I was very close to for almost 30 years, but now we have lost touch. I plan to share more details about this situation in a future post. I recently finished reading Emily Henry’s The People We Meet on Vacation. All though it is mainly a romance novel, I can still identify with the strong themes of friendship depicted in it. Additionally, I watched a movie last weekend about two best friends whose lives take unexpected turns as they navigate the challenges of adulthood together, including their changing family dynamics. Although the movie was meant to be comical, it unexpectedly stirred up a lot of emotions for me.
Friendships never really stay the same.
Some people are adaptable while others are not, and it’s difficult to predict how different challenges will test your resilience. A long-standing friendship that began in childhood suddenly ended a couple of years ago, leaving me shocked by the abruptness and lack of closure. One day, I discovered that she had cut off all communication with me. Part of me still believes that if I could just speak to her and understand what went wrong, I could move on more easily. However, I’m not sure if that’s the case. I experience moments of longing for her friendship and questioning how a true friend could walk away without an explanation. Life has a way of throwing unexpected curveballs.
And sometimes you’re surprised.
Last night I met up with an old friend to discuss the possibility of taking photos at her upcoming wedding. We first met just before I purchased my first home, and coincidentally ended up living only a few blocks away from each other with our sons born a week apart. Having her as a friend in a new town was truly comforting and someone I could count on. However, when I moved about 30 minutes away after my divorce, we naturally lost touch aside from occasional interactions on social media platforms. Our recent meeting reignited a spark within me. While we have exchanged casual greetings at school events and sent sporadic text messages asking how each other was doing, we had not bonded beyond that.
It felt heartwarming to hear her refer to me as her friend during our recent meeting, signifying a connection that still existed between us despite the passage of time. She also remarked on how nice it was that although we hadn’t hung out for years, our ease and comfort with each other hadn’t diminished. We had so many things to catch up on, especially since she had also gone through a divorce and was now happily engaged to a wonderful man. I miss the kind of companionship we used to have.
While I have friends, my circle has shrunk post-divorce and many of my old friends are no longer around. I cherished the familiarity of being with someone who shared a similar background and understood the struggles I had faced. We discussed the possibility of meeting up socially soon, but the reality is that she is a mother to five very active children and I’m not sure if our hubbies will have much in common. One of them is a country boy, sitting on the opposite end of the political spectrum, while Babbling Dude is from Chicago, a stark contrast to the small community where my friend resides.
